In the emails I get there have been more than the usual share of men who are either addicted to sex or addicted to sleeping with women, which is not always the same thing. This week I received one from a girl who knows she has a problem but is not sure how to deal with it. 

 

Rita is just 21 and has began a promising career in the advertising industry. “I love what I do,” she says, “the environment is fast flowing, there is a lot of pressure and I get to be around men and women who are truly beautiful in every sense of the word. I should really be happy and I am except for one small thing.” 

 

Rita, apparently, finds herself wanting almost every man she meets. “I am not compulsive in any way nor would I consider myself to have an addictive personality. This is something which came slowly for me and I now find myself wondering what I should do. I think it began at College when on one night I agreed to have sex with three men. I found that I liked how I felt during it. Afterwards I spent a lot of time recriminating myself and saying that good girls do not behave like that, but the thought of what had happened sent a thrill off inside me and I found myself, sometimes, going to discos or bars with the express mission to pick up strange men for sex. Sometimes two at a time.” 

 

Rita thought she had this under control. It was something she did, occasionally on a weekend to relieve the pressure and the rest of the week she could concentrate on her studies.

 

“I work in an environment where sexual tension is always there,” she says. “I visited an important client to his hotel to discuss his account with us. When the meeting was over he offered me a drink and then another and before an hour had passed we were on his hotel bed having sex.” This seemed to spark of a pattern of behaviour in Rita who after that sought any excuse she could to be alone with male clients. 

 

“They flirt with me in the office and they are very flirty when we are alone and I just can’t help but fantasise what they will be like in bed with me.” 

 

The result is that she now finds herself planning how to seduce her male clients. “I set up meetings at their hotels or their homes when there is no one else around. Once I had a client take me in his home office, upstairs, with a full family BBQ going on in the garden downstairs, outside his study window. I know it is the thrill I seek more than anything else,” says Rita, “and I feel that I must stop before anyone complains or it begins to hurt my career prospects.”

 

Rita is not quite sure how. She had counselling which has not yet had any results and she has been to seek a psychiatrist who prescribed Prozac. “It made me feel good but it also completely removed my desire for any kind of sex and this is not what I want. I just want to be able to control it. At some point I will meet a great guy and I will want to have a relationship with him and I really do not want to let this part of me spoil it. Am I the only one who is like this? Is there anyone else out there who has learnt to control it?”

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