Stories as told to me, all names used have been changed to protect the identity of the participants. Do you feel you have an interesting real-life story to tell? Would you like to receive my advice via email? 
| Met and lost his girl online |
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On any given day I receive anywhere between 20 and 50 emails detailing a relationship issue and asking for advice. Of late I have not posted too many new ones as I try to avoid publishing stories which are too similar to each other, as most relationship issues, inevitably, over time will be. This is one I received in the first week of the new year and it has an interesting angle I think it’s worth examining. Mark met his girlfriend on a dating site at the beginning of 2009. “I joined because I am tired of being alone,” he explains, “the site brings together western men and girls outside the USA and I liked the idea of making a fresh start with someone who is not of the same cultural background as I am and who may have fewer issues with being American.” He chatted, texted and emailed quite a few ladies until in March, last year, he met Anna. “We chatted online for about two hours and we seemed to hit it off. Her English was not perfect but it was good enough for the job and we seemed to just be very comfortable with each other.” Anna, who has been married before in her country, also has a child which is five. Mark has never been married. “Our relationship unfolded over the weeks and months to the point where we would email and text each other almost every day. Anna lives in Russia and is also twenty years younger than me. We were discussing how we should perhaps get together and I was thinking just what I need to get there to see her and see for myself just how real or not this internet dating can be. On the build-up to Christmas Anna seemed to be a little depressed. She was not as communicative as she normally had been and was pressing me a little to go over and visit her at Christmas. To be honest I did think about it but Christmas is a family time and I wanted to spend it with my mum who is very old and I did not think it would be appropriate for me to leave her on her own. I said I couldn’t.” When Christmas was over and he went back to the dating site Anna’s profile had been deleted. “I checked and checked and nothing. It’s simply not there. I have since texted her and emailed and even tried calling her but I have got nowhere. I really, really liked her so now I am just considering what my options are. Should I start looking for someone new and waste all that time again? Should I try writing to her a real letter, I have her address. She is in Moscow and I am in Detroit so a flight over is no picnic. I wonder if anyone has experienced anything similar and how did they handle it?” Tags: 
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My wife is from Eastern Europe. We had met at work and after several attempts asking her out she said yes. On our first date she said she wanted to marry a man to stay in the US. I told her flat out that was not me. We dated, had fun, and fell in love. I visited her country, met her family. Cultural differances, age(she is 16 years younger), and what came to be lifestyle changes(she enjoyed going out to clubs, partying, etc...while we dated, but slowly became more reclusive. I enjoy it too much for my own good.) we drifted into two different people who were in love but ot properly suited. I thought things would go back to the feelings we had early in our relationship,perhaps they are, but a year and a half into our marriage she went back to E.E. We keep in touch, have a love for each other, but after a year and a half away, I do not know if we will reconcile. We want each other, locked in marriage, but if we will be the people we need to be to make this marriage work I do not know. I think this fellow should look at the time he spent with her via the net a valuable lesson learned and move on. Find a Woman from Western Europe where the differences are more common in thier roots.
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January 11, 2010
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