One of the largest scientific studies of its kind regarding the G-spot (that fabled part of a woman’s anatomy which some women only possessed and which could result in mind-blowing orgasms) has shown conclusively, to my mind at least, that the G-spot does not exist.

After almost 60 years of effort to find it by millions of women and their sexual partners (some of whom claimed to have) the fact that it does not exist throws up some very interesting issues regarding female sexuality which, traditionally, has been guided by the twin engines of male research and media-led theories.

It is interesting that in most other areas of research, like particle physics for instance, no amount of newspaper column inches would make the existence of a phantom particle more or less likely but when it comes to female sexuality magazines, newspapers and films do have the ability to influence women’s minds to the point that they actually report they have experienced whatever it is they are supposed to.

This throws up the often-reported by women fact that when it comes to our own sexuality a lot of it takes place in our minds first and our bodies afterwards. I have mentioned here before that female sexuality is complicated and multiphasic which makes convenient labels such as frigid, bi-sexual and even lesbian, harder to pin on women than they are on men.

The latest findings regarding the non-existence of the G-spot are actually good news for men everywhere. It actually takes the pressure off the need to ‘refine your technique’ and puts the onus back where it should be: winning her heart and mind. The moment you do that her body is also yours no questions asked and sex becomes a mutually satisfying game of sharing and pleasure which requires few tricks to actually improve it.

It also highlights the need, mentioned in my latest book: Understanding Her, for couples to make sex a mutual game of exploration. It’s not so much a case of “what you do with it” which counts as a case of “what she would like you to do with it” and for that you really need to talk in a frank, open, non-coercive way which will only result in mutual benefits when it comes to the sexual development of your relationship.

So, talk, experiment, find what works for you and forget about following fads, reading magazines recounting ‘magic spots’ and seeking the sexual equivalent of fast-food as a means of instant gratification. Sex is always enjoyed more as part of a process where the chemistry of both parties blends into a unique, mutually satisfying whole.

Comments (5)

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I do agree, it seems that some women has a G-spot and others don't. I am 55 yrs. of age and the women that I have been with you had to find out for yourself, if that magic spot was there on each one of them...

Kenny Raymer , January 04, 2010

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i like you

blaine , January 04, 2010

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Maybe alot of women do not pay attention to the g-spot.Is it there yes, and when it is hit or fingered it takes you out of this world. But you have to feel comfortable in the love making or sex for it to happen. It is not something you can point to and say here, you can say ok this is where it should be or let nature take it's course. I know it is there but my spouse does not need to find it everytime to please me or make the experience outstanding for us both. And when he does it is heaven.............. I'm 51 and yes I love sex or love making as much as any girl or woman younger than I. But over the years I have realized one thing you have to enjoy your partner and they enjoy you in orer to experience the out of this world magic that can be brought out. And it is magic no matter what language it is said in. There are degrees that you can experience in your sexual life thats the only way I know how to explain it.

Doris , January 04, 2010

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Yes I know the G spot. I have felt it before. It is a rough spot about 4 inches deep into the vaginal wall, you can feel it becasue the texture is different from the soft smooth walls on the vagina. And the ladies say it feels even better for them.

Willz , January 06, 2010

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tahir , January 09, 2010

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